What About Bathroom Etiquette?

I was inspired by a recent post we had about public restrooms to come out with a code of ethics when it comes to a grown ass man using a bathroom. There are many men who would laugh at the idea of practicing etiquette when it comes to the restroom, but these are Adult Males who don't know better.

Let me mention that this is dedicated mostly to public restrooms. It is important to note that all bathroom etiquette will probably be thrown out the window at any sporting event.

First, let's talk about urinal practices. Using a urinal can be a tricky thing, but not if you follow these simple rules.

1. Always stand at least one urinal apart from another man, always helpful to have odd number of urinals
2. The further you distance yourself from restroom traffic, the better
3. Never look to your right or left, especially when forced to go next to another user
4. Keep conversation to a minimum
5. Limit yourself to two shakes, no exceptions

How about the porcelain throne? Although it is up to one's own discretion whether or not to even poop in public as a Grown Ass Man, there are still rules to follow when one finds himself in this situation.

1. Much like urinals, the more isolated one is, the better.
2. Be courteous, don't use the handicap stall
3. Remember, you are not giving birth, Adult Males love to grunt and grown as they go #2
4. Ignore all foot tapping directed towards your stall.
5. Use TP sparingly, clogging the toilet, especially in public is a no no (although if done without much TP is a point of pride for some Grown Ass Men)
6. The need to double flush is also a sense of pride

Some points to clarify:

• All Grown Ass Men wash their hands, only Adult Males consider the quick rinse and dry as a viable option
• Consider all chances to use a Dyson Air Blade as a treat that is to be taken full advantage of
• Grown Ass Men prefer air dryers to paper, but if paper is an option they take a limited amount and make sure it goes in the garbage
• When at sporting events/bars keep alert for stray pee that could possibly be soaking your shoe, also, don't be that guy
• It is up to the Grown Ass Man's discretion whether or not to tip a man who works in fancy bathrooms as a towel guy

What are some guidelines you follow for bathroom etiquette? How do you behave in your bathroom at home? What about gas station bathrooms? We'd love to hear from you.