Making Decisions

What should we do next?

To most Adult Males this can be a terrifying question, but to a grown ass man this is a chance to prove his worth.

Every grown ass man is inevitably put into situations in his life where he needs to make decisions for himself and others. These situations typically occur when all others in the group refuse to make a choice, either out of fear or lack of information. These situations are times when we separate the men from the boys, the Adult Males from the Grown Ass Men. Adult Males typically flee from these situations, while grown ass men embrace them.

Obvious assertion: grown ass men love "choose your own adventure" books specifically because they allow them to practice making life-altering decisions

Let's walk together through one possible scenario where a grown ass man asserts his grown ass manhood and makes an informed decision. Before we dive in, it is important to realize that these scenarios can vary from mild, day-to-day decisions to cheating death scenarios. A grown ass man takes all scenarios as equal, never wavering in his confidence in his decision.

Mild Scenario:

A group of friends has decided to hang out for the evening. Within this group of friends exists at least one Adult Male and one Grown Ass Man. Although this group wants to hang out they are not sure what they want to do. Should they go out on the town? A movie sounds good, right? Maybe they should just stay in and play some drinking games.

An Adult Male has a typical response: "I don't care, it doesn't matter to me."

Indecision? Uncertainty? What kind of man doesn't care when it comes to having a good time, especially when it involves some adult beverages?

Another man steps up and has an opinion.

A Grown Ass Man has an idea: "Let's get some half-off appetizers at Applebee's, possibly pre-gaming with a brewtus or two, then come back to the house for some adult beverage competitions with some good music playing that keeps the party going."

Woah! Everyone else who is present has just had their mind blown. Look at what happens in this proposed solution: cheap food is served, everyone gets to go out for a little while, there is still consuming of adult beverages, plus there is music! Everyone is happy. Whether it is apparent or not, a lot of thinking went into this informed decision.

This is just one scenario where a grown ass man makes decisions. There are other scenarios that may force you to choose one thing over another or to do something a bit unorthodox.

Obvious assertion: grown ass men thrive in unorthodox situations.

Now that you have established your grown ass manhood by making a decision you may be forced to rationalize your decision. Although no grown ass man should need to explain why he does what he does, here are some statements that, when stated confidently, rationalize your decisions:

• I read it in a magazine
• I saw it on Discovery Channel
• I've done this before (whether or not you have done this before is not important)
• (insert friend or relative here) did the same thing and it worked out fine
• When all else fails: I'm a grown ass man!

Obvious assertion: The Ghostbusters are grown ass men because they are who you are gonna call

What decisions have you made that asserted yourself as a grown ass man? Under what circumstances was it? What was your rationale for this decision?