A Grown Ass Fashion Statetment

Or should I say, a grown ass statement about fashion.

Summer is dangling over our heads, clutching for dear life to the tenacious little finger of Sylvester Stallone, merely movie moments away from slowly slipping from our hero's strong grasp to plop all hot and sticky all over our unsuspecting skulls, leaving a tearful and resolute Italian Sherpa with nothing but regrets and bitter anguish. Why?! Why didn't he say "I love you, Summer" just once before she slipped away? You sad, sorry man...

So, since it's getting warmer, I think it apropo to offer some grown ass advice on what not to wear this season. It's no secret that Adult Males ere infinitum have been experimenting with idiocy when it comes to summer fashion. If you are thinking of trying a "new look", go for it, but if I see you in any of these now known no nos, I'ma slap you.

Overall Shorts - just, no.
Proper Overalls - if you don't drive a pickup truck, you cannot pull off this look. If your overalls cost you more than $10 at the Farm and Fleet, you cannot pull off this look.

Grown Ass Style tip: try some khakis and a colored tee. Try to avoid cargo pockets.

Velvety track suit, matching of course... Adult Males picked this one up as soon as pretty girls stopped dressing like this. If you are not from Eastern Europe, you cannot pull off this look.

Try this: Gym Shorts and a white tee. Classic, yet comfortable.

A beanie. It's hot out, you look like a damn fool.

Try this: cut your hair shorter. High and tight, clean part. No sideburns.

Tucked in shirts? Adult Males are always tucking everything into everything else... A Grown Ass Man tucks his shirt in when wearing a suit, or when otherwise told by his own mother.

Socks and sandals. Don't do this.

Tip? Get yourself a pair of Rainbows.

D.B. Deep Vees. (DB stands for "descends below" the sternum) V-Necks are cool, but seriously we don't need to see that tattoo of a cancerous mole you got ironically after you got that cancerous mole removed.

Tip: Don't be a deeber.

Well that's all I got for now, remember stay cool and stay cool.

What's your summer fashion pet-peeve? Adult Male or Female?