Circumstances Under Which to Assert Your Grown Ass Manhood

1. When the woman in your life tells you not to have another helping of whatever.
2. When someone asks you why you just did that thing you just did.
3. A mirror.
4. When the frequency of your showering is called into question.
5. Right before you buy or adopt a tiny dog.
6. When someone asks you if you need a hand. Even if you need a hand.
7. To justify the ridiculous challenges to which you commit with other Grown Ass Men.
8. When you blow a stop sign.
9. When you want the whole side of the booth to yourself.
10. When you haven't eaten a green vegetable in a week.